he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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