either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
