it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
