these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
