he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
