There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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