i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
