Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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