Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
