Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
