I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
