People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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