Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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