my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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