just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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