I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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