Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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