This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
