i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
