Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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