i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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