AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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