i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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