So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize