Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
