Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
