real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
