Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
