Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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