sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
