i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
