sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
