He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
