ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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