it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Text me some of your sweat
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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