Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
