i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
