I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
