plz talk dirty to me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
