i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
