then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
