I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
