just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
