so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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