If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
