The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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