the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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