every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
