Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
