I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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