That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
