Do vagina's smell?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Still dying that you shit outside
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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