The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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