Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
