yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
