Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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