Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
