Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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