FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
