can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
