My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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