I must be too annoying 4 u.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
