An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
