Don't you send me to vm
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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