so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize