it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
