the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
