First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
