I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize